Tabi O Suru - The Journey
by Kouryou Akikaze
Summary: Three convicts escape to destroy the Ring of Power, but on their journey they encounter oddities and what not. And with Orcs on their trail this won't be an easy task.
1. The Escape

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings and/or O Brother, Where Art Thou?  
  
O Muse!  
  
Sing in me, and through me tell the story,  
  
Of that man skilled in all the ways of contending,  
  
A wanderer, harried for years on end...  
  
* The Odyssey  
  
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Through Rohan over fen and field where the long grass grows  
  
The West Wind comes walking, and about the walls it goes.  
  
`What news from the West, O wandering wind, do you bring to me tonight?'  
  
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Gruesome and deadly Orcs mounted on dark horses with burning red eyes looming about a long weary chain gang of elves and men. Hammers pound, broken bits of rock fly off into different directions. These former soldiers are now reduced to lifting heavy sledgehammers and crushing rocks on the side of the road.  
  
A somber field of dried roots and grass lie not far from the wretched chain gang. Rustling among the former plants could be heard then three shadowy figures pop up, run a few paces, then return to their desiccated shelter. Minutes later they stand up farther from where they ducked, run again, and submerge.  
  
Thick and stringy cobwebs hanging on a tree move to the side to reveal the three figures watching a undersized boy pulling a horse across a yard of a small, rundown house. The boy takes the proud, golden steed to the other side of the house. A chicken runs from the horse near to the figures. One of the figures reaches for the bird, but it hops away. They all began to walk slowly towards the chicken, but it runs away. Chains clanking, feet shuffling, the three prisoners scurry about the yard chasing after the chicken. After many attempts the chicken is caught, and the prisoners scuttle away with their prize in hand.  
  
The trio lies around a dying fire gnawing on the remnants of the pitiable chicken when one of the prisoners hears the distant shout of Orcs.  
  
Dried grass crunch underfoot as they flee their campsite. Coming upon a road they see a wagon going at high speeds. They pick up their chains and start to run after the wagon. The tall, dark haired one jumps on board, stands up, and sees four dismal dwarves sitting upon the supplies.  
  
" Say are any of you dwarves smithies," he said panting. The small, dark haired one climbs aboard pulling in some of the chains while the blond one is still running outside of the wagon.  
  
" Or if not smithies per say are any of you trained in the metallurgic arts, but then decided to pursue a life of aimless wandering," said the tall, dark haired one completely oblivious to his partners. The blond one suddenly trips and lets out a small scream. The small one lands on his stomach and falls out of the wagon, then the tall one slides off too.  
  
The trio rolls down the side of the road in a mesh of chains. Upon stopping they immediately stand up. The wagon zooms away and they stare at it as it goes.  
  
" Can I count on you people?" said the tall one.  
  
" Well sorry, Aragorn," said the small one. The wagon is now a far away speck. Aragorn stares at it for a while.  
  
" We will take off through that forest- " Aragorn began.  
  
" Now wait a minute," interrupted the blond one, "Who elected you leader of this outfit?"  
  
" Legolas, I figure it should be the one with the capacity of abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, we'll vote," replied Aragorn.  
  
" Suits me," Legolas sharply replied.  
  
" I'm voting for yours truly," he said tugging at the chains and pointing to himself. Aragorn yanks the chain even harder.  
  
" Well I'm voting for yours truly, too!" Aragorn said. Both turn and glare at Frodo. He looks at them both innocently.  
  
" Okay. I'm with you two," Frodo replied. In the distance the Orcs and horses draw near. Suddenly a steady clip-clop of horses sounds near the trio. They turn and look down the road. An elf on a horse leading two other horses was on the road. The three run up to him.  
  
" Mind if we join you?" Aragorn said.  
  
" Join me, my son. Join me," replied the elf. They mounted the other horses.  
  
" Ya work for the dwarves, sir?" asked Frodo.  
  
" I work for no one," said the elf with his eyes still transfixed on the road.  
  
" What's your name?"  
  
" My name is Elrond," said the elf.  
  
" Well that's an interesting name. To what region is it from? I once knew-" started Aragorn.  
  
" You seek to destroy the ring so you can find a great fortune. You will find a fortune though it will not be the fortune you seek. But first. First you must travel a long and difficult road. A road beset with peril. Umm hmm. You shall see things wonderful to tell. You shall see a cow on the roof of a cotton barn. And oh so many obstacles. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not these obstacles in your path. The road may wind and your hearts grow weary still should you follow this road to your salvation." Elrond said. The clip-clop of the horses was the only sound in the growing evening.  
  
Chapter 2 coming soon. 


	2. Legolas's Kinfolk

The midmorning sun beats downs mercilessly upon the three travelers dragging their chains. Unrelenting they walk on the wide-open, dusty road heading towards a designated destination.  
  
  
  
" Well, how'd he know about the ring?" Frodo asked examining the ring then put it back in his pocket.  
  
" Frodo, elves of the old do develop paranormal psychic powers to compensate for their lack of youth. Clairvoyance falls in to that category," said Aragorn.  
  
" He said we wouldn't get it. He said we wouldn't get the fortune we seek all because of our obstacles," Legolas said in a melancholy tone.  
  
" Well I say he's an ignert, old, foolish elf," Aragorn said flailing his chains in the air, " I told you I know the bounty for the destruction of the ring is quite unstinted. And your cousin has this weapons shop and an abundance of tools to give us the liberty of free movement."  
  
  
  
Suddenly a sleek, sliver-tipped arrow zips past the travelers and hits an old elm nearby Frodo. All three hit the ground, look around, and await the next arrow.  
  
  
  
" Hold it right there," said a little elf boy leaping out from a tree and promptly fires another shot.  
  
  
  
He walks over to a twisted, iron gate and seemingly guards it. Aragorn and Frodo put up their arms in surrender and get up off the ground. Legolas just stands up and dusts himself off.  
  
  
  
" You men from the bank?" inquired the elf boy.  
  
" You Itoko's boy?" Legolas asked.  
  
" Yessir!" he replied, " He told me to shoot whosever from the bank."  
  
" We ain't from the bank, young feller," Frodo stated.  
  
  
  
The elf boy walks slowly but sternly towards them with a bow drawn and ready.  
  
  
  
" Well sir, my father told me to shoot people with papers," he said.  
  
" We ain't got papers either," Frodo replied.  
  
" And nix the census man!" he said.  
  
" Now there's a good boy," Frodo said nervously still with his arms up as well as Aragorn, "Is your father about?"  
  
  
  
The elf boy puts down his bow and arrow and unlocks the rusted gate. Hinges squeaking, gravel moving, the gate opens to them and reveals a mansion covered in ivy and spider webs. All four walk down a long, river stone road leading to the front door of this amazing mansion, but the elf boy makes a turn off the road and points to a dilapidated work house. Inside an older elf sits on a stool and hovers over his workbench. His concentration is unmarred as he tinkers with a silver bow. The trio drags their chains over to him.  
  
  
  
" Hello Legolas," the elf said, " Who yer friends?" He then goes back to work.  
  
" Pleased to meet your acquaintance, Mr. Greenleaf. My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn," he boasted.  
  
" And my name is Frodo Baggins," Frodo said timidly.  
  
" How ya been, Itoko?" Legolas asked without enthusiasm, " It's been what? Twelve, thirteen years?"  
  
  
  
Itoko rests the silver bow and small tools upon the workbench and slowly gets up from the stool.  
  
  
  
" I 'spect you want them chains knocked off," Itoko sighed.  
  
  
  
Dusk falls upon the barren land and seems to bring no hope for tomorrow. Inside the ivy and spider web mansion burns a faint light. The fireplace burns an eloquent blaze. Across the way in the center of the dining room there is a cherry wood, dust covered, dining room table. Upon that table sits a copper urn filled to the brim with a thick, meaty, gray stew. Frodo, Legolas, Aragorn, Itoko, and Musuko, Itoko's son, sit around that table. Stew depleting, spoons clanking, they eat the dinner and catch up on old times.  
  
  
  
" The bank foreclosed on Cousin Ceribrium. Hanged himself a year come last Tuesday," Itoko said waving his spoon around.  
  
" Uncle Radlive?" Legolas asked eying his bowl.  
  
" Anthrax killed most of his cattle. The rest don't milk. He lost a boy to mumps," he said.  
  
" Where's Amyaka, your wife?" Legolas asked.  
  
  
  
Itoko looks up from his meal and stares at his son.  
  
  
  
" Couldn't say. But she up and r-u-n-n-o-f-t," he said.  
  
  
  
Legolas practically drops his spoon and stares wide eyed at his cousin. Aragorn breaks the nerve-racking silence.  
  
  
  
" She must be looking for answers," he said.  
  
" Well, good riddance as far as I'm concerned," Itoko said, "I do miss her cooking though."  
  
" This stew's awful good," Frodo said chewing on a thick piece of meat.  
  
  
  
Itoko picks up a piece of meat from his own bowl, and begins to examine it thoroughly.  
  
  
  
" Ya think so. I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday. I'm afraid she's starting to turn," Itoko said.  
  
  
  
Frodo stops chewing, stares wide-eyed, and drops his spoon. The rest continue eating the tainted stew.  
  
  
  
  
  
Aragorn, Frodo, Itoko, and Legolas sit around the dim lit living room with ancient furniture scattered about. The radio plays softly in the background.  
  
(violins playing Canon in D major)  
  
Frodo, sitting on the badly upholstered sofa, taps his foot to the beat while Legolas, sitting next to him, just listens. Itoko is sitting to the right of the radio across from Legolas and next to Aragorn, who is brushing his hair vigorously. The final note rings out of the speakers and the announcer comes on.  
  
  
  
*Well that winds up Gandalf Stormcrow's Flour Hour. This is Gandalf Stormcrow playing that good, old timey music, and remember when you want to make a mess of flapjacks or bunch of biscuits use cool, clean water and good, pure Gandalf Stormcrow flour.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Aragorn finishes brushing his hair and applying his pomade then he closes the tin.  
  
  
  
" Guess I'll be turning in. Say Cousin Itoko I suppose it'll be the acme of foolery to ask you if you have any hairnets?" Aragorn asked.  
  
" Got a bunch in yonder bureau. Amyaka's as a matter of fact. You could help yourself. I won't be needing them." Itoko said and immediately began to whittle again.  
  
  
  
  
  
The three sleep soundly amongst the brittle hay in the hayloft of the barn. Aragorn with his hairnet, Frodo drooling uncontrollably, and Legolas also drooling.  
  
  
  
" All right boys!" said a hoarse voice over a bullhorn.  
  
" Argh. How's my hair?" Aragorn asked arousing from sleep.  
  
" Boys! We've got you surrounded!" said the voice.  
  
" Damn! We're in a tight spot!" Aragorn exclaimed sitting up and staring out of the hole in the loft.  
  
  
  
He stands up and shuffles towards that hole. What is revealed is a bunch of orcs and two armored cars.  
  
  
  
" Don't try nothing fancy!" yelled the orc captain over the bullhorn, " Your situation is very troublesome."  
  
" Damn! We're in a tight spot!" he said looking out unto the orcs.  
  
  
  
Legolas and Frodo wake up at this point.  
  
  
  
" What in the Sam hill?" Frodo said sitting up.  
  
" Legolas's cousin turned us in for the bounty," Aragorn said still looking out the hole.  
  
" What the hell you said?" Legolas said standing up and running towards Aragorn then grabs Aragorn and shakes his fist in Aragorn's face.  
  
" Itoko is kin!" Legolas said ready to punch Aragorn.  
  
" Legolas, I know we're kin, but with this depression on. I've got to do for me and mine," Itoko said standing near the orcs' armored car.  
  
  
  
Legolas peers out of the hole and looks Itoko straight in the eye.  
  
  
  
" I'm gonna kill you," Legolas said, " Itoko Greenleaf, you miserable son of a-"  
  
  
  
  
  
Gunfire is immediately fired upon the trio, who duck behind the brittle, wooden wall. They fall upon the cold, hard floor.  
  
  
  
" Damn his eyes! Father always said never trust Itoko," Legolas yelled and smacks the floor. He crawls to the hole and yells at the orcs.  
  
" Come and get us, coppers!" Legolas screamed at them and looks down.  
  
  
  
He sees an orc pouring gasoline on the dry barn door.  
  
  
  
" Now we're gonna smoke you out," said the orc captain.  
  
" Damn! We're in a tight spot!" Aragorn said.  
  
  
  
Another orc with a torch in hand walks slowly towards the barn door.  
  
  
  
" Light 'er up!" said the orc captain.  
  
  
  
The second orc throws the torch onto the gasoline and it immediately goes aflame.  
  
  
  
" Ain't ya boys heard of negotiating?!" Aragorn screamed out, " Can we talk this thing out?"  
  
" You low down, yellow belled, scum!" Legolas screamed out.  
  
" Legolas, calm down. Watch out for that fire now, orcs!" nervously said Aragorn pushing Legolas away from the hole.  
  
(gunfire rings out)  
  
" That's enough, sonny," the orc captain said to the sub gun toting orc. Another throws a torch in the hayloft. Aragorn screams.  
  
" I hate fire!" Legolas said picking up the torch, walking out to the hole, and chucks it out. It lands near one of the armored cars and the flame makes a beeline towards it.  
  
"Watch out people! She's full of live ammo!" said the orc captain. The car lights on fire, the windows shatter leaving glass everywhere, and the ammo starts to go off.  
  
" Take cover boys!" said the orc captain.  
  
  
  
Suddenly honking is heard. A small, rusted, thing of a car comes swerving towards them.  
  
  
  
" Get out of the way boys!" he said.  
  
  
  
The hole filled armored car jumps up into the night sky and still is going off while the small car busts through the barn door. Inside sitting on a stack of books is Musuko.  
  
  
  
"Get in boys! I'm gonna r-u-n-n-o-f-t !" he said looking at them.  
  
  
  
The trio climbs down the burning ladder. Frodo grabs a pig and runs around screaming, Aragorn fans the flames, and Legolas jumps in to the car.  
  
  
  
" Come on in boys!" Legolas said, " What are you doing here, Musuko?"  
  
  
  
Frodo with the pig enters the car screaming. Aragorn comes in and Musuko puts the car into gear.  
  
  
  
" You ain't the boss of me!" Musuko said flooring the pedal with a block of wood attached to his boot. The trio screams as the heap of rust plows out the back of the burning barn.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You candy cotted, so's and so's. I curse your name!" Musuko screamed out while standing by the dry, desolate, dirt road with the pig. Legolas grabs a rock and throws it near him.  
  
" Go on home and mind your father," Legolas said. The boy and his pig turn and walk away.  
  
" What's the danged problem?" Legolas asked as he walked over to the smoking car. The other two stare at the car. 


End file.
